Writing To Build
Something is stirring, chaps. I feel unable to commit to any particular theme for today. Is my brain running out of creative fuel? I suspect not. This has 'next phase' vibes about it. The last couple of months have felt like an initial healing process. I have explored my internal state of mind (touching on other matters, occasionally) and publicised the results for your reading pleasure (i.e. just me, probably).
So lets run with these vibes. Where are we going with all of this? I know I ask that question on a daily bloody basis. But this quandary has spilled over into my personal journal writing, too. My brain is clearing, in a way; it does not have the same erratic chatter of the last few months. Years even. My neurons are not firing in anguish. That is a Good Problem, in my books.
So if I am no longer writing to heal, what the hell am I writing about? The answer has literally just popped into my head, travelled down my arms, exited via my fingers, and arrived onto my keyboard. I am writing to build. Think Better. Build Better. Progress. It seems so fucking obvious now. This is being filmed live, unscripted and in full technicolour, folks. I am documenting my own journey to a much better place.
That's pretty cool, I suppose. Perhaps this is why my spirit has been lifting of late. Well, that and also the fact I've had to face up to some childhood trauma that's been haunting me for some time (just a mere detail to skip over, Steven). I shan't bore you with the details, as I don't believe they are necessary (at this stage) for progression here. What I will say however is that writing helped me peel back the layers of a rather complex onion.
I found the source of my anxiety, folks.
The Fork On The Road
Now I'm sure the healing process has much longer to go. In fact it will likely never be finished. I'll always be exploring my mind, trying to figure out how I think and view the world. But I have touched on some pretty powerful ideas over these past couple of months. Zoom Out. Take Perspective. Seek Empathy. Etc. My challenge now is to build on these musings, and to create a solid framework for navigating life.
There's more however (there's always more). I'm not entirely self obsessed. As you may (or may not, or even do not care) to know, I wear a few different hats. I love exploring the world around me. Up until now I have always bored my partner with my economic, social and political takes. She shall not suffer much longer. I will articulate my broader thoughts here as part of the 'writing to build' phase.
A Leap Of Faith
This feels a little scary, to be perfectly honest. I know the world is rather sensitive to matters like this. I know that I might take serious flak for expressing certain opinions. Many folks are, quite understandably, very frustrated at the moment. But perhaps there is space for an enquiring, more settled mind. One that sees the world as it is, and not what it ought to be.
And one last thing (I fucking promise). There is no shame in profiting from insight. Seeking security is part of the human condition. I'd like to use 'write to build' on many levels. To build reputation. To build skills. To build a network. To build wealth. To build a family. To build a fulfilling existence. And perhaps, over time, we will all be building together. As Partners (yes, cheesy as shit, but I just could not resist).
Signing out, Steven.
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